Becoming Three...

We have not announce it virtually yet...It's so fun soaking up all the face-to-face excitement and expressions each time we share THE news!

When we found out that we're going to be starting a family, our hearts blossomed with so much happiness. We didn't even entertain the thought if we were ready or not, we just knew that we were so blessed and so in awe beyond anything in this world. We knew almost instantly that we were baking a baby inside, as the symptoms kicked in real early. We think our baby was really eager to show us who little bossy is! It's funny how we love our little one with all our hearts already even though we have not met.

Our first doctor's visit was to a GP, 3 weeks after we had conceived. We peed on the stick at home, and it was the most glorious morning when I burst through the bathroom door shyly, dancing on my tiptoes showing my husband that we were "2-3 weeks pregnant" as indicated on that blue magical wand. We wanted to keep our little sacred secret just between the two of us for as long as we can, just because it was fun like that and also because we wanted a professional confirmation before we could share the news with the entire clan.

And so, we made an appointment at our local GP to check if we were really pregnant. The doctor, our good old Dr Ronnie just took our word for it and congratulated us, warning us not to consume any papaya until we are at a more matured stage. Unsatisfied with the confirmation we got, we made another appointment, this time round with an OB/GYN! (OB/GYN: A commonly used abbreviation. OB is short for obstetrics or for an obstetrician, a physician who delivers babies. GYN is short for gynecology or for a gynecologist, a physician who specializes in treating diseases of the female reproductive organs.) "She seems like the right person with the right words in her title description to certify pregnancies", we thought to ourselves. Low and behold, we made an appointment and jumped on the bed where the doctor brought out a gigantic lollipop-looking stick and rubbed it against my belly up and down to see if she could see a baby in there. No baby yet, I don't see no baby and my heart panicked! But I saw a black hole with a white seed planted inside. The gentlest white bean that looked very peacefully resting in a sack in my belly. And that was when the doctor said "Yes, pregnant!" and confirmed it all. 

We have a baby growing in us. Not quite baby yet, but a bean, not quite a bean too, perhaps a clump of cells. That was when we decided to call the little clump of cells CLUMPY. 

Clumpy has since been growing steadily and healthily in my belly. Every once a month we get so extremely excited and we look forward to meeting our little Clumpy. It's as if the doctor holds the key to the window to seeing our little baby. Each month we wait patiently for that one day where we get to meet our Clumpy for a very brief 3-5 minutes, which never failed to plaster smiles on our faces for days. Each time we think of how well Clumpy is growing it just brings sun shining smiles to our faces. 

When we were in our first trimester, I looked and felt like I was constantly bloated with air. Every so often, I'd be checking my side profile through the reflection on the mirror. Eager to get to the 2nd trimester where I know I can then waddle about and proudly carrying a huge belly for all to see that we have a Clumpy growing in me. But the beginning of 2nd trimester didn't get me all that huge yet. I only looked like I overate and clothes were all beginning to show a bulge but we didn't look fully pregnant yet. Week 20 was what we call the "explosion" week - we grew and we grew and we grew! And I was never so proud in packing on the pounds! 

Looking back, I was just telling my husband, it's so strange how when we first got pregnant, we were only bloated with air but we deludedly think that everyone could see our belly and nobody would miss knowing the big news! And then when the 2nd trimester came about, we started walking boldly, making big actions and deliberately pushing my tummy out so that people know that a baby is coming along. We are now at week 29, so excited we can't explain how wonderful this feeling is, that we finally look really pregnant, without even needing much effort to show off. 

This is the first post I have written in relation to our pregnancy since our success in making a honeymoon baby. Pregnancy is indeed a very overwhelming but exciting journey. My husband and I are constantly learning more and more about each other and it just mesmerises me how much gentleness there is in this man I so adore. His never-ending care for us is also a testament of his character. He doesn't carry his baby, but he takes every single effort to make sure he in involved, to make sure he is informed, known and want to grow with us on every ounce and every second of this journey. He sets reminder on his phone to remind us to have our supplements on a daily basis. Thank you for making me so loved, and so cared for. 

We do get asked all the time if we are ready. But this man, he sure assures us and makes us feel like we have been prepared all our lives for this moment. I'm sure as heck not ready, how would you wake up one day and tell your brain that you are expecting a baby and therefore will need it to sleep less, eat more, attend to a crying baby, not freak out, know what to do, protect baby, maintain cool, produce milk, feed baby...all in all be a supermom?!?!?!? Don't think we can idolise any superhero character for this super important role. Neither were we taught in class. But I find comfort knowing my loving husband will always be by our side no matter what, and also we have our mothers who were once in our shoes, some 30 over years ago...they managed to pull through by figuring out, I'm pretty sure we will do okay too. 

So yeah, there you go world Joel and I are expecting a babyyyyyyyyyyyyy! 

My Number 1 Man!

We've been married for about 3 months now. And I didn't want to abandon this blog just because we were done with our TwentiethOfSemptember. I want this to be a compilation of our chapters as we journey on life together a husband and wife.

Looking back we have dated for a little more than 5 years and I am still in awe thinking of the little and big things that he does for me, for us and for love. 

First Christmas since we dated, you went away on a Christmas holiday with your family. The night before you left you came to drop off a little present for me. You prepared a deck of playing cards and wrapped them up as a gift for me. You said to me "whenever you miss me, you can just practise shuffling these cards and by the time I come back you can show me how well you can shuffle!". Little did I know, I spent my entire time shuffling those cards while you were away. I became an expert! And I knew you were proud of me. But more than that, I just wanted to show you how much I missed you. 

One random day in class, I was having a not-so-great day. You were coming back from group discussion over lunch, you brought me a slice of Tiramisu. Not my favourite of cakes, but you knew just what to do to make me smile again. I just needed that little sugar pick-me-up treat to distract me and like a child digging into my slice of cake, I was instantly happy again. 

At the car park when we drove two separate cars to Uni, you always came early to park at the end lot, just so I could sleep in that extra few minutes and didn't need to worry about not having a park when I arrived. I would just park in front of your car, blocking your car and the divider and I know I have my morning-car-park-stress covered by you. On days when you had to leave for home before me, you would leave me love notes on A4 paper secured by my car wiper on my windscreen. Those notes always made me blush. 

In between classes, we would wait for each other at our secret places and then take the longest routes to get to wherever we needed to be. You would constantly check how my day was, carried my books, fished for kisses, gave me smiles, and made sure I got where I was supposed to go before you went where you were supposed to. You were my walking security blanket. I knew I was safe every time I was with you. 

When it was time to apply for our clinical placement, we both had our eyes on the supervisor who was willing to take in 2 students - you and I must charm this supervisor and get her to say yes to us. Despite the potential long drive to Kajang on a daily basis, you never hesitated. You even suggested that you'd pick me up and we can then go to Kajang together. We applied, were accepted, and like any gentleman who is true to his words, you picked me up every single day. It took us 45 minutes to an hour to get there and you'd always soften the volume on the radio, reclined and seat and encouraged me to go back to sleep. You know how precious my sleep was (still is) to me and you'd always try and give me that comfort that every princess deserves. 

Assignments were due almost on a daily basis. Time was always our biggest challenge. Going to bed at 4am, and waking up at 7am was something completely normal to us then. Yet, you would find time in the evenings after dinner to meet me at some cafe somewhere to help me out with my assignments even though you do have your own to worry about. You were the most patient teacher ever and you would learn up anything that I needed to know just so that I was able to catch up in class. 

So much memories about our classes together, about how we became friends before we became lovers and now married. This man whom I admire with all my heart is the gentlest of hearts and the most caring of humans in this whole entire world. I am just so lucky to have been married to my best friend, my man and my soulmate. 

p/s: I shall leave our LDR chapter for another day. 

Married!

We're now married for over 2 weeks. It was the most beautiful day! Everything was just flawless and fell into place just the way they should. We were so happy, we couldn't stop smiling. We just want to tell the world we are two people becoming one very powerful unit bound by love, strength and commitment to each other.

Wedding - checked!
Honeymoon - checked!

Back at work, back to reality. Lots to catch up with, but work has always given us immense satisfaction and sense of fulfilment. We're both quite happy to spend the day at the office, working. But my job requires me to travel and travelling for the month of October has indeed started. First outstation trip was very privileged to be accompanied by the husband to JB. Now I am in Kuching...on my own!

Does being married change anything? Yes and no! Yes, now that I have declared to the (what seemed like) entire world that I take this man as my lawfully wedded husband and to love him to the end of time, I do feel a slight pinch of guilt in me being away from my him (even though it's for work!). The vows we exchanged were extremely powerful. I remembered clearly how I felt a great deal of responsibility saying those words to my husband on our wedding day, in the presence of our family and friends. Those were words we promised each other, words that were not taken lightly. It was a very different experience that was special, intimate and full of power. Words that you won't be simply saying to anyone at all. It was like we searched our whole lifetime looking for this special person to say these words to.

I am so glad I have found mine in my husband.

Thank you husband dearest for giving me courage to be the bold bride that I was. To know and to be sure that you and you alone were the only man I would want to say these words to and to spend the rest of my life with.

I miss you and can't wait to see you soon! ❤

1.5 hours to "I Do!"

It's now 4pm...1.5 hours before we exchange our vows and say "I Do!"

How am I feeling? I am very very nervous!

Finished writing my speech an hour ago and my vows to him a few minutes ago.

I can't be more sure than what I am doing...I want to marry this man! I can't be surer!

Excited - yes!

Nervous - yes!

Happy - yes!

Lucky - yes!

Tired - yes!

Before any of these wedding preparations took place, we bravely and boldly told ourselves that honeymoon will not be necessary. But now we know why it is CRUCIAL! Because planning a wedding is indeed a very exhausting affair. A honeymoon right after is absolutely needed.

Can't wait to steal some time away with my soon-to-be husband in a few minutes!!!!!!!!!

I love you huns!

Aargh!

AARGH!!!!!!

So we’re a week away. Everything seems to be coming in a deluge! It’s like literally a non-stop, hodgepodge cacophony of things all bundled into one. It’s like one thing after another, spilling onto itself and its all we can do to keep our heads above water to survive.

And let’s be fair, its taken a heavy toll on the both of us. Combined with the personal battles that all of us have inside of us, it’s not the hardest to imagine that there are frayed nerves and ego. And at times, you gotta stop and ask yourself is it worth it? The fights, the sleepless nights, those times when you’re jolted out of slumber and you ask yourself that very important question of, “have I sent in my photos for printing yet?!” and that’s a whole night of sleep gone. Or what about those times when you have a million peple asking you for the same thing, so much so that you’re at wits end, and you end up tearing your hair out. Or at least in my case, you end up writing the details of the wedding and the days running up on it on a window so that anyone and everyone can see it. I swear if one more person asks me about the itinerary for the day…

I’m beginning to see why they say that wedding is a once in a lifetime kind of event. I challenge anyone to say that they would like to plan a second wedding, let alone one. As I’m writing this, I’ve got so much buzzing through my head, I’m amazed I’ve not started typing about how the effectiveness of therapy was significantly higher than those in the placebo and wait-list control groups. No, that was not a joke, it has happened more than once. I’m just thankful that I’ve been able to catch myself when I’m writing my thesis, and no lines of “those wedding photos look awesome!” or “I hope the wedding video looks good!” have popped up for my supervisor’s enjoyment. Although, there’s still time aplenty, so I suppose that could still happen.

I think there are many a frayed tempers, many a stressful glare between the both of us. Because of the wedding, as well as many other reasons. I think we’ve spent equal amounts of time being happy and silly together, eagerly anticipating out big day, as the amount of days we’ve spent brooding and unhappy at each other. Part and parcel some might say, but boy it isn’t easy. It’s just so easy for everything to pile up on top of one another, so easy for us to stay mad, so easy for us to make the smallest things bigger and bigger and bigger.

And then you stop and think to yourself, is it really all worth it? Is it worth the pain and aggravation? The endless stream of thoughts and worries. The constant barrage of questions both legitimate and unwarranted. The constant outflow of finances, and hardly coming in. The constant fights and frustrations that we both must feel. The almost continuous need to answer the silliest questions, the most clichéd of enquiries, and the most infuriating jokes.

You stop, you think, and when you scrape away all the bullshit and nonsense. When you scrape away all the pomp and circumstance, the giant show that we’re expected to put up and parade to the world, when you tear away at the illusion that we’ve been tasked at providing, you ask yourself, what are you truly left with?

You. And yes, you’re worth it all. Or rather, we’re worth it all. At the end of the day, merely 8 days from now, it’s the day that both you and I will be one, officially, spiritually, and most importantly of all, emotionally. So despite the hoops we have to jump, despite the performance we have to put on, we’re worth it all.

So hang in there, we’re almost through.

Thirty days, woohoo!

A month?! Where in the world has all the time gone?

It feels like forever, well to be fair, it has been close to that since our proposal, and now it’s a mere 30 days away before the culmination of everything that has been put in the works, the planning, when it all comes to fruition. As we finalize all the little details (bar the table arrangement, I don’t think anyone’s looking forward to that), my heart skips a beat each time anything reminds me of the wedding.

The best part is, most everything does! From the work that I’m doing, to the dresses and clothes that dominate the house now, to the people I meet, it just sings to me that our big day is coming!

Our Big Day. Our Marriage, holy matrimony. When you put it down in words, it somehow doesn’t do it justice at all. The rest of our lives, till death do us part. Such pretty words, but it doesn’t even come close to the feeling that I have inside me each time I think about the life that we’re going to share together. And that definitely gets me excited!

30 more days till the day I say I do. 30 days till the day I have my soulmate joined to be at the hip, where we both belong. 30 days to the rest of our lives.

Wedding, here we come! Kancheong spider moh!

Jochelle

So You Wanna Get Married?

8th July 2014: Officially Day-1 of unemployment for the mrs-to-be. Rise and shine earlier than usual, with the regular 9 minutes snooze from the ever reliable iPhone and an additional 5 minutes manual snooze from the even more reliable husband-to-be, all in added 14 minutes in total to my extra bed time! YES! Any extra time for direct contact with the bed ought to be celebrated. 

So why did we have to wake up an hour earlier than usual? Because we were going "out of town" to Putrajaya to register for permission to be married (Why Putrajaya?? All because his IC was registered in PJ, and mine was registered in KL, hence we have to go to the HQ to register because apparently our's is considered an "interstate marriage"). A brief pit stop of 20 minutes at UPM for the PhD student to submit some documents and then it was another 15 minutes before we arrived at Putrajaya. The building was JPN: Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara. It was not difficult getting there with the help of Waze. But finding a park for the car was a little tricky (Tip: The parking lots for regular cars would be at the open space car park, directly in front of the JPN building. Basement parking lots are for staff only). 

And so we crossed the road, feeling all excited seeing other young couples looking as lost, some even more lost than us waddling about trying to do that one thing - register to be married! Entered the building and a somewhat rain forrest looking ambiance greeted us. Go left or go right? We took the left turn, went up the escalator to the first floor and saw "BAHAGIAN PERKAHWINAN DAN PERXXXXXXX"! 

Didn't really know where to go, the curious me was distracted and attracted towards a long wall of fame - "PEMBERITAHUAN PERKAHWINAN". So many, many, MANY passport photos of the about to be married couples stuck on the board, assuming to announce to the world their intensions to be married? But before they are cleared to do that, they (and eventually we) would have to publish their pictures there for 21 days. In the span of 21 days, should an enemy or your best friend disapproves of you being married to someone, they are welcome to stop you from doing so by submitting an objection. As we speak right now, we are actually quite tempted to take a drive down Putrajaya just to see our entry on the board! =)

So while I was distracted there, Joel (always the practical and sensible one) went ahead to queue in line for a number for our turn. We got a lucky number 1025, which we thought would take us a lifetime and a half before it was our turn seeing the flashing number showed 1009. So we then took the time to have our photographs taken at the shop downstairs, and have our IC photocopied (4 copies of passport sized picture each, 1 copy of front and back IC each = RM 32). Went back upstairs, completed the form (took all 5.3minutes??) and then waited about 20 minutes before it was our turn. 

When it was our turn, we just needed to hand her our photographs and confirmed verbally that we were never married before. Once that was done, she asked us when and where are we planning on doing our ROM. After which, she told us that we'd have to return after 21 days to collect our documents, unless of course if we had any objections from the public, she will then call before the end of the 21 days free advertising space at the government office to show off our faces, and we'd have to take it from there (we are hoping we never had to go down that path of having anyone object against our wedding, so by faith we didn't ask what could happen if there was an objection). 

Once that was done, we were pretty much good to go. 

Advise for others thinking of registering your marriages at Putrajaya: Get there early, dress decently conservative (no showing off legs and cleavages! Save that for the big day!), get your passport sized pictures taken outside, have a copy of your IC (front and back) ready. If you have all these planned out before your trip there, it will save you time and some money.