1.5 hours to "I Do!"

It's now 4pm...1.5 hours before we exchange our vows and say "I Do!"

How am I feeling? I am very very nervous!

Finished writing my speech an hour ago and my vows to him a few minutes ago.

I can't be more sure than what I am doing...I want to marry this man! I can't be surer!

Excited - yes!

Nervous - yes!

Happy - yes!

Lucky - yes!

Tired - yes!

Before any of these wedding preparations took place, we bravely and boldly told ourselves that honeymoon will not be necessary. But now we know why it is CRUCIAL! Because planning a wedding is indeed a very exhausting affair. A honeymoon right after is absolutely needed.

Can't wait to steal some time away with my soon-to-be husband in a few minutes!!!!!!!!!

I love you huns!

Aargh!

AARGH!!!!!!

So we’re a week away. Everything seems to be coming in a deluge! It’s like literally a non-stop, hodgepodge cacophony of things all bundled into one. It’s like one thing after another, spilling onto itself and its all we can do to keep our heads above water to survive.

And let’s be fair, its taken a heavy toll on the both of us. Combined with the personal battles that all of us have inside of us, it’s not the hardest to imagine that there are frayed nerves and ego. And at times, you gotta stop and ask yourself is it worth it? The fights, the sleepless nights, those times when you’re jolted out of slumber and you ask yourself that very important question of, “have I sent in my photos for printing yet?!” and that’s a whole night of sleep gone. Or what about those times when you have a million peple asking you for the same thing, so much so that you’re at wits end, and you end up tearing your hair out. Or at least in my case, you end up writing the details of the wedding and the days running up on it on a window so that anyone and everyone can see it. I swear if one more person asks me about the itinerary for the day…

I’m beginning to see why they say that wedding is a once in a lifetime kind of event. I challenge anyone to say that they would like to plan a second wedding, let alone one. As I’m writing this, I’ve got so much buzzing through my head, I’m amazed I’ve not started typing about how the effectiveness of therapy was significantly higher than those in the placebo and wait-list control groups. No, that was not a joke, it has happened more than once. I’m just thankful that I’ve been able to catch myself when I’m writing my thesis, and no lines of “those wedding photos look awesome!” or “I hope the wedding video looks good!” have popped up for my supervisor’s enjoyment. Although, there’s still time aplenty, so I suppose that could still happen.

I think there are many a frayed tempers, many a stressful glare between the both of us. Because of the wedding, as well as many other reasons. I think we’ve spent equal amounts of time being happy and silly together, eagerly anticipating out big day, as the amount of days we’ve spent brooding and unhappy at each other. Part and parcel some might say, but boy it isn’t easy. It’s just so easy for everything to pile up on top of one another, so easy for us to stay mad, so easy for us to make the smallest things bigger and bigger and bigger.

And then you stop and think to yourself, is it really all worth it? Is it worth the pain and aggravation? The endless stream of thoughts and worries. The constant barrage of questions both legitimate and unwarranted. The constant outflow of finances, and hardly coming in. The constant fights and frustrations that we both must feel. The almost continuous need to answer the silliest questions, the most clichéd of enquiries, and the most infuriating jokes.

You stop, you think, and when you scrape away all the bullshit and nonsense. When you scrape away all the pomp and circumstance, the giant show that we’re expected to put up and parade to the world, when you tear away at the illusion that we’ve been tasked at providing, you ask yourself, what are you truly left with?

You. And yes, you’re worth it all. Or rather, we’re worth it all. At the end of the day, merely 8 days from now, it’s the day that both you and I will be one, officially, spiritually, and most importantly of all, emotionally. So despite the hoops we have to jump, despite the performance we have to put on, we’re worth it all.

So hang in there, we’re almost through.